New Story Line - Changed ideas!

The new storyline is:
The opening shot will be of a poster, which is advertising people to volunteer to take part in a psychological experiment. It will say the name, time and venue that the volunteer will be needed for, on it. The filming will then go to Freddie who has seen the poster, and is getting ready to head up to the investigation place. This is still in E5, at Newport, and we are keeping the idea that it is still a deserted school. It is like an old university that scientists just use for experiments and investigations. We think this will make the whole idea rather creepy for the viewer. The focus then turns to a man named Mr Swash, who has been ordered to carry out this investigation by the government. Though he has been threatened, he doesn’t know the dangers of this experiment. Volunteers enter the room, and Mr Swash tells them all to take seats. When they have quietened down, he begins to type on his keyboard. He is typing what he is being told to type by the government people. Gradually all of the participants start to fall under some kind of trance. Mr Swash notices something is wrong but is urged by the people from the government to carry on. He begins to type more loudly and more furiously than before, and suddenly some vivid effects start to take place. One student clutches her head and starts to scream. She is really distressed. Others start twitching and acting weirdly, as if something had possessed them – this is the trance.
The focus then returns back to Freddie who is walking up to the classroom, he is running late. (We might also get a glimpse of the Newport Free Grammar School sign.) Freddie is a bit lost, and as the school is deserted there is no one there than can guide him the right way. He ends up outside the window of the classroom next to E5 when hears the exceptionally loud, distressed screaming, and runs in the direction of it to help.
The focus goes back to the classroom Where Mr Swash is struggling to keep going with the experiment. The camera keeps flashing to all of the faces of the participants, and to Mr Swash’s Face. Their faces are pale, and they have dark, disturbed eyes. Just as Freddie enters the room, Mr Swash drops his headset and runs out of the room, with his arm over his face. He knocks into Freddie, murmuring and crying and then just runs away.
Freddie looks into the classrooms just as all of the participants fall out of the trance. They all simultaneously hit their heads on the desks then jerk upright.